When I started this blog, now 13 years ago, there was very little online speaking, webinars etc. We were only just grasping the idea of having to have our own Youtube channel. The needs to market, to generate an audience and to churn out content seems like a necessity. The drive for likes can be an addiction.
Still, there is nothing like your authentic presence to build trust, and make connections.
TBC
Teaching, Learning and The Power of Attention
We cannot embark upon the journey of teaching and learning without addressing two very important elements. They are Attention and Attention. There are two types of attention, and they give utterly opposite results, creating an opposing tension.
The first is a kind of food or perhaps better to say “drug”. After the air we breathe, the solid food we ingest, and impressions we receive through our senses, we crave acknowledgement. From the time we are born and let out our first cry, we desire contact. Our survival depends on it. In many cases the desire for it can be likened to an addiction. We humans have a huge appetite for attention, affecting how, why, and to whom we communicate. By over-emphasizing this need, however, we give away our power to the whims of others. In the grips of this form of attention, our thoughts and feelings are not our own. What, why, and to whom are we speaking? These questions must be answered in our quest to fully develop and express ourselves.
The second form of attention is essential to the accomplishment of any task, including developing effective communication skills. It might be called concentration, focus, presence, being in the present, or mindfulness. This attention is developed primarily through meditation. It is also instantly available to us in ‘life and death’ situations, and when we are connected to our passion.
Sadly, little of our educational system addresses the development of this essential form of attention. Paradoxically, nothing of great depth can be accomplished without it.
Miss Margarida’s Way, a play by Roberto Athayde, is a beautiful example of the contradictions inherent in educational systems that must satisfy a mass-education mandate while paying lip service to individual aspirations. In the play, attention is used as a carrot and a punishment. Miss Margarida proclaims, “the deserving ones who are they, they are those who obey.” The teacher acts as the sole authority, judge, dictator, prison warden, mother, father, friend, and confidante all rolled into one while teaching the audience. Like Pavlov with his dogs, she uses both kinds of attention to condition her students/audience into a state of paralysis. Her goal is crowd control, obedience, and mediocrity. This leadership model is more prevalent than we are willing to admit. Unless we are quite vigilant, we can become unconscious practitioners of the same methodology.
Here are a couple of powerful phrases recalled from my early schooling that epitomize how attention is taught. Perhaps you can add a few.
“Would you please sit up straight and pay attention?”
“If you would concentrate I might just give you a passing grade!”
By paying attention we get rewarded with attention. Here the first and second forms of attention become interdependent. Trying our best to concentrate on trying to concentrate, we avoid simply being present.
TV shows make little demand on our attention. Fast action, flashy graphics, constant movement and noise aim to keep us from channel surfing. We habitually channel surf, in our own minds, flipping from one thought to another when our attention is not focused.
Attention does not behave when it is demanded, and yet nothing can be accomplished without it. When asked to pay attention, we subconsciously ask what we will get for it.
We might pay attention…
To buy love.
To win respect.
To get a raise.
To sell something
To create Peace.
Professors often observe that many students are only interested in attending to learning what they need to get a good grade.
When do you give full attention? When we engage in a hobby or an activity that we love and when we are challenged, we learn very rapidly and hardly notice time passing. When we are confronted with a life-or-death struggle, our attention is firmly in the present. Finally, when our actions are aligned to our life purpose, we can tirelessly accomplish great works. We communicate best when we are present, in the moment, passionate about our subject and when the stakes are very high. This is a ‘master key’ to effective communication.
Examine your motives for communicating and do some soul searching.
Locate your passion.
What makes your heart sing?
What do you love to do?
What do you do whether you are paid for it or not?
What do you take pride in?
What did you love but for some reason don’t do anymore?
If we all loved what we did, we would, as the saying goes, never work another day in our lives. Our society does not broadly encourage this way of thinking. Our cultural message is ‘get a job.’ This message implies that you will not like doing the job and that you will only do it so you can do the thing you want to do in your free time. Schools and parents have supported this societal mandate by encouraging us to have something to fall back on: something that we are less passionate about. Why does a person choose this something-less-than? Family pressure? Peer pressure? Fear? Guilt? Unworthiness? Security?
Dreams and ambitions are often encouraged in early schooling with the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up? The sky’s the limit. You can be anything you want to be!” As the child grows, the expectation is that he or she will become practical and realistic. By the time the child reaches the end of high school, the very idea of articulating a dream or passion has been, for the most part, undermined by peers, parents, and educators alike. The child has listened to so many opinions that the ‘still, small voice’ is
buried under layers of static. There is nothing left but to fall back on something.
We each have the ability and the responsibility to awaken and inspire others when we speak. However, it is impossible to do if we are not pursuing our own passion.
As you develop skill in effective communication and strengthen your power of attention, you will begin to unearth and reclaim your own voice. You will also find it valuable to address the techniques of vocal projection and performance. Actors deal with the art of holding the attention of an audience over time. Any time you stand up in front of a group the rules of performance apply. How do you feel about calling yourself a performer? Do you feel nervous or scared out of your wits? Good! Do it anyway. Fear is not a reason to shy away. Learn to recognize fear as heightened attention that allows you to learn rapidly.
No matter who you are, when you speak, you teach every day. We teach throughout our lives. We model behavior for our children, train employees, and explain things to clients. Almost every interaction contains some form of teaching, even with friends and colleagues as we share ideas that we believe in. Simply treating another human being with respect is an act of teaching by example.
Great teachers have changed our lives, picked us up out of the gutter, inspired us with direction, awakened in us a sense of purpose, challenged us to overcome our fears, and been there to celebrate our successes. They are filled with passion and enthusiasm for life, and they give us the gift of life by introducing us to our own gifts.
What is it that you pass on to your kids, employees, colleagues, shop attendants, passers-by, moment-by-moment, day-by-day? Do you honor, uphold, celebrate, receive, and give inspiration? What is the type and purpose of your attention? What do you want to communicate to others? Which form of attention do you uphold?
